Sam had to go back to work on Monday. I cried several times over the weekend even though my mom was going to be here. Not because I was super worried that Maise and I couldn’t do it on our own or anything, but more because I just didn’t want Sam to leave. My anxiety about him leaving probably made it that much harder for him to leave – Sorry babe. Hindsight and all that.
Over the weekend, we got a day of sunshine and I was finally OK to do a little activity, so we got out of the house for a walk around the neighborhood. We probably overdressed Maise, but it was just so nice to be outside in the sun! The
nugget snoozed pretty much from the second we left the house until we got home.
Being back at work was as hard for Sam as it was on us to have him out of the house. Turns out having a teeny, tiny life right in front of you all the time makes it very hard to leave. I can’t even think about my maternity leave ending without getting all sweaty and anxious, and I still have several weeks left! [I could start a whole big rant here about how ridiculous parental leave is in this country, and how painfully obvious it is that our government doesn’t care about the future of our nation because they have such callous disregard for the young… but I won’t. Just know… it’s ridiculous and I have strong opinions. Surprise.]
My mom was here and it was great to have some additional support. Maise was eating out of a bottle pretty well, and I was finally making more milk than just enough to get us to the next feeding, though not by much. She was also nursing much better by the end of the third week, sometimes even without a shield.
Valentine’s day came and went; Maise had a doctor’s appointment and I had a follow up with them midwives (all unremarkable). Maise wasn’t sure what Valentine’s was all about or why she had to dress up, and I remember Sam being frustrated that Maise had so many clothes on it was hard to undress and redress her for her appointment and diaper changes. But we had such a cute outfit for her to wear!
Maise continued to get more and more expressive, and her faces just cracked us up. If she didn’t have the hiccups, she was probably sneezing – almost always in batches of 2 (like her momma) or 3 (like her grandma) – and occasionally she’ll think there’s one more sneeze coming and make this hilarious face and noise that I can’t even describe – that’s a trait she gets from Sam.
Sam and I went on a date! We left Maise with my mom for just a couple of hours to go to Cinetopia (Sam wanted to do dinner and a movie… I said dinner OR a movie… so we compromised by going somewhere we could get dinner DURING the movie_). I held it together when we left the house, but I do remember saying ‘we need to go now before I change my mind.’ It was weird to be out of the house without Maise and I found myself thinking about her through much of the movie, and itching to get home.
Week 3 came and went somewhat unremarkably…hard to believe that’s even possible, but now only a few weeks later I’m having trouble remembering many details… must be the sleep deprivation. 🙂 Still, we were trudging along as a family and loving every minute of it.
You’re snoozing now, though you woke up once while I was writing this and I had to go into your room and rock you back to sleep. You didn’t have the greatest night of sleep last night, and today it’s made you extra snuggly, if overtired. Before this nap we sat in my chair and read books, then you snuggled into my neck and just let me smell you for about ten minutes – that’s how I knew it was nap time, you’re NEVER that still!
I loved having your grandma here and I know you did too, though perhaps grandma loved being here most of all. It was fun having three generations all together. I wonder if you’ll be left-handed like us? You definitely have grandma’s long fingers, perfect for playing piano. I was so relieved when you finally started breastfeeding that week – it’s such a special bond we share now, I can’t explain it but I hope someday you experience it with your own baby, when I’m in your house helping you take care of your newborn – isn’t that crazy to think about? You’re full of crazy faces and often times I felt like you were pleading with me to just put the camera away already – it is a hard balance of being 100% present with you, and wanting to document the adorable memories!! I try to stick the phone in your face much less often now, though I’m sure it doesn’t feel that way to you. You’re still the sunshine, Mais. I love you. I love you. I love you.